I haven’t posted on this blog for a while, but it has been time well spent. Today is the launch of my new book, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents. I am very excited by what it has to offer. My lifelong mission has been to help people become conscious of the relational impact of being involved with emotionally immature people (EIPs). I want to help people get free of the unjustified self-doubt and guilt that control them for the EIP’s psychological benefit. My last book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, struck a nerve and spread through word of mouth. It became an Amazon bestseller and ended up being published in several languages, including Chinese, German, Polish, Spanish, and Russian. The phenomenon of emotional immaturity seems to know no borders. Apparently adult children in other cultures are dealing with these challenging relationships as well.
Along the way, readers took the time to let me know the book had helped them greatly. Often their comments were something along the lines of “You must’ve been in my home when I was growing up.” Although I offered some suggestions in that book for how to deal with emotionally immature (EI) parents, many readers wanted more specifics. While the book had given them a way to understand and talk about these EI relationships, readers wanted to know more about what to do.
In my just-released new book, you’ll see exactly how EI parents - and all EIPs - undermine your self-confidence, your trust in the legitimacy of your inner experiences, and the nature of your very self-concept. For the new book, my psychotherapy clients also shared new stories to illustrate how EIPs take over your emotions and make themselves the center of your concern.
In the new book, I focus on specific, practical advice as well as deeper insights into the more subtle and psychologically harmful dynamics in relationships with all EIPs, not just parents. With any EIP, you will at some point find yourself drawn into feeling guiltily responsible for their self-esteem and emotional stability.
Like the previous book, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents is not about blaming your parents but about rescuing your potential, your confidence, and your self-concept from emotional takeovers by others. You’ll learn about the roots of emotional coercion and how we give up mental freedom and emotional autonomy in our urgency to mollify EI parents’ emotional insecurities. The book ultimately shows you how to have the kind of relationship with your parents you always wanted; one in which you finally feel free to be yourself around them. The greatest proof of any self-actualization effort is that you stay connected with yourself no matter what someone else tries to make you into.
I hope you will find what you need from this new book. In an upcoming feature on this website, I will be answering a question from a reader every month in the Q&A section. I look forward to our exchange!