Don't Let Emotionally Immature People Rule Your Life
Are you the one in your family who is especially sensitive to how other people feel? Do you find yourself taking on other people's problems, even when it's bad for you? Is it often hard for you to make choices because you worry about what others want? If this sounds like you, you may have been raised by emotionally immature parents.
These parents create a childhood atmosphere of emotional neglect. In a family headed by distant or self-absorbed parents, the most sensitive and perceptive child often takes on the family role of attending to other people's problems and needs. These children prematurely adopt adult sensibilities that can inhibit their natural childhood spontaneity. They also experience emotional loneliness and secretly feel unworthy of asking for attention. As adults, they continue to neglect the needs and instincts of their authentic self. They feel guiltily obliged to pay close attention to others, but find little coming back to them. This leads to psychological exhaustion because they end up doing most of the emotional work in their relationships.
If you were one of these capable but emotionally neglected children, you may have grown up worrying about other people while overlooking your own self-actualization. Over the years, you may have become more and more distant from your own authenticity. But by learning how to protect yourself from the demands of emotional draining people, you can start living your life with less guilt and greater energy. Being in touch with your emotional needs will become a source of strength instead of an issue of shame.
Your true self is so much more than your family role. Your past identity may have been formed in your relationship with your parents, but who you will become derives from your relationship to yourself. I hope you will find this website and my books helpful to you in learning about yourself and your family, so that you will be free to live your best possible life.
These parents create a childhood atmosphere of emotional neglect. In a family headed by distant or self-absorbed parents, the most sensitive and perceptive child often takes on the family role of attending to other people's problems and needs. These children prematurely adopt adult sensibilities that can inhibit their natural childhood spontaneity. They also experience emotional loneliness and secretly feel unworthy of asking for attention. As adults, they continue to neglect the needs and instincts of their authentic self. They feel guiltily obliged to pay close attention to others, but find little coming back to them. This leads to psychological exhaustion because they end up doing most of the emotional work in their relationships.
If you were one of these capable but emotionally neglected children, you may have grown up worrying about other people while overlooking your own self-actualization. Over the years, you may have become more and more distant from your own authenticity. But by learning how to protect yourself from the demands of emotional draining people, you can start living your life with less guilt and greater energy. Being in touch with your emotional needs will become a source of strength instead of an issue of shame.
Your true self is so much more than your family role. Your past identity may have been formed in your relationship with your parents, but who you will become derives from your relationship to yourself. I hope you will find this website and my books helpful to you in learning about yourself and your family, so that you will be free to live your best possible life.